In a shocking admission of defeat, politicians from both sides of the aisle have thrown in the towel and proposed a radical new solution: vouchers for everything.

“We’ve tried everything else, and nothing seems to work,” said Senator John Johnson (D). “So, why not just give people vouchers and let them figure it out themselves?”

The “Voucher-Palooza” plan would provide citizens with redeemable coupons for essential services like healthcare, education, infrastructure, and even national defense.

But here’s the twist: the voucher amounts will be determined by individuals’ search history and ad click data.

“We’ll use advanced algorithms to analyze your online behavior and determine your ‘Citizen Score’,” said Representative Jane Doe (R). “If you’ve been searching for healthy recipes and clicking on ads for fitness gear, congratulations! You’ll get a bigger voucher for healthcare. But if you’ve been binge-watching Netflix and ordering pizza online, well…let’s just say your voucher for national defense might be a little smaller.”

Proponents argue that this approach will encourage responsible behavior and personalized freedom. Critics call it a dystopian nightmare.

“It’s like they’re saying, ‘We’ll spy on you, and then reward or punish you based on your online habits’,” said Dr. Lisa Nguyen, a policy expert. “It’s a chilling thought.”

The voucher plan has been met with confusion and skepticism from the public. “I don’t want my search history determining my access to healthcare,” said concerned citizen, David Lee. “That’s just creepy.”

As one politician quipped, “We’ve gone from ‘Yes We Can’ to ‘Yes, We’re Watching You’.”

In related news, sales of VPNs and ad blockers have skyrocketed, and the phrase “voucher-ization of America” has become a trending topic on social media.